In the Spirit of the Season

A Holiday Songbook of Patient-Centered Carols

Editor’s note: In the spirit of the holidays and promoting better health care, Michael cleverly penned these patient-centered carols. We offer our thanks and sing his praises for generously sharing these copyrighted ditties here.

Copyright © 2015 by Michael L. Millenson. All rights reserved.

 

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A Shared Decision-Making Christmas

We wish you a merry Christmas

We wish you a merry Christmas

We wish you a merry Christmas

But, of course, the final decision should be part of a shared decision-making process.

 

 

 

A Carol to CAHPS

God bless ye merry gentlemen, may nothing you dismay.

We need for your CAHPS answers to be filled up with “always” today

Because our patient experience scores now go to set our pay.

Oh, our bosses look at quintile rankings to deploy.

So help us get our Christmas bonuses of comfort and joy.

 

Silently Measured Night

Silent night, holy night.

Our Bluetooth-enabled monitor makes sure that baby sleeps tight.

Our breathing is measured, our REM rate is, too.

We’ve got a special toilet to analyze our poo.

To gather all this data ain’t cheap, but

We sleep in Quantified Sleep.

 

Rudolph the “Engaged” Reindeer

RuChristmas iconsdolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

Had a very shiny nose.

And the doc on the telehealth kiosk

Said, “Don’t worry unless it snows.”

CrowdMed said, “Try acupuncture.”

What the heck – the advice was free.

But other reindeer with the same condition

Nixed the idea on PatientsLikeMe.

Then one snowy Christmas eve Watson came to say:

“I crunched your patient-generated data throughout the night –

You’ve got a cold, that’s all: your nose is alright!”

Then all the health insurers

Shouted out his name with glee.

“Rudolph, we love your ‘engagement,’

‘Cause it saved us from paying doctor fees!”

 

The 12 Days of Patient Centricity

Christmas iconsOn the First Day of Christmas my true love gave to me

A promise of patient centricity.

 

 

On the Second Day of Christmas, my true love gave to me

Two dog-eared brochures on hospital safety

And a promise of patient centricity.

 

On the Third Day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Three “Ask Me Three” print outs

Two dog-eared brochures on hospital safety

And a promise of patient centricity.

 

Christmas iconsOn the Fourth Day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Four drug company diabetes apps

Three “Ask Me Three” print outs

Two dog-eared brochures on hospital safety

And a promise of patient centricity.

 

On the Fifth Day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Choosing Wisely.”

Four drug company diabetes apps

Three “Ask Me Three” print outs

Two dog-eared brochures on hospital safety

And a promise of patient centricity.

 

On the Sixth Day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Six text messages reminding me to take my depression meds

“Choosing Wisely.”

Four drug company diabetes apps

Three “Ask Me Three” printouts

Two dog-eared brochures on hospital safety

And a promise of patient centricity.

 

Medical information on mobile phoneOn the Seventh Day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Seven patient engagement platforms funded by hedge fund managers

Six text messages reminding me to take my depression meds

“Choosing Wisely.”

Four drug company diabetes apps

Three “Ask Me Three” print outs

Two dog-eared brochures on hospital safety

And a promise of patient centricity.

 

On the Eighth Day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Eight “healthy living” emails from my company wellness plan

Seven patient engagement platforms funded by hedge fund managers

Six text messages reminding me to take my depression meds

“Choosing Wisely.”

Four drug company diabetes apps

Three “Ask Me Three” print outs

Two dog-eared brochures on hospital safety

And a promise of patient centricity.

 

Christmas iconsOn the Ninth Day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Nine digital health hashtags

Eight “healthy living” emails from my company wellness plan

Seven patient engagement platforms funded by hedge fund managers

Six text messages reminding me to take my depression meds

“Choosing Wisely.”

Four drug company diabetes apps

Three “Ask Me Three” print outs

Two dog-eared brochures on hospital safety

And a promise of patient centricity.

 

On the Tenth Day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Ten new synonyms for “patient-centered”

Nine digital health hashtags

Eight “healthy living” emails from my company wellness plan

Seven patient engagement platforms funded by hedge fund managers

Six text messages reminding me to take my depression meds

“Choosing Wisely.”

Four drug company diabetes apps

Three “Ask Me Three” print outs

Two dog-eared brochures on hospital safety

And a promise of patient centricity.

 

On the Eleventh Day of Christmas my true love gave to me

Eleven websites found on Google

Ten new synonyms for “patient-centered”

Nine digital health hashtags

Eight “healthy living” emails from my company wellness plan

Seven patient engagement platforms funded by hedge fund managers

Six text messages reminding me to take my depression meds

“Choosing Wisely.”

Four drug company diabetes apps

Three “Ask Me Three” print outs

Two dog-eared brochures on hospital safety

And a promise of patient centricity.

 

Christmas iconsOn the Twelfth Day of Christmas my true love gave to me

The name of a truly collaborative PCP.

Eleven websites found on Google

Ten new synonyms for “patient-centered”

Nine digital health hashtags

Eight “healthy living” emails from my company wellness plan

Seven patient engagement platforms funded by hedge fund managers

Six text messages reminding me to take my depression meds

“Choosing Wisely.”

Four drug company diabetes apps

Three “Ask Me Three” print outs

Two dog-eared brochures on hospital safety

And a promise of patient centricity.

 

Christmas iconsWe May Have to Wait for Angels

Activists, we’ve heard you sigh

Imploring those in health care to really try

To get past excuses and finally do

What’s right for patients (and doctors, too).

 

 

A Participatory Dreidl Ditty

I had a heart-rate monitor It watched me all the day

But the company that makes it

Won’t share data in any way.

Oh, give me my damn data

Or there’ll be hell to pay.

Learn the lessons of “Our bodies, Ourselves”

Patients have the final say.

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Michael L. Millenson, President, Health Quality Advisors LLC Michael L. Millenson, president of Health Quality Advisors LLC, Highland Park, IL, is a nationally recognized expert on quality of care improvement, patient-centered care and web-based health. He is the author of the critically acclaimed book, Demanding Medical Excellence: Doctors and Accountability in the Information Age, and he is Adjunct Associate Professor of Medicine in the Department of Medicine at Northwestern University's Feinberg School of Medicine. National Public Radio called him “in the vanguard of the movement” to measure and improve American medicine. Prior to starting his own firm, Millenson was a principal in the health-care practice of a major human resources consulting firm. Before that, he was a health-care reporter for the Chicago Tribune, where he was nominated three times for a Pulitzer Prize. He serves on the boards of the American Medical Group Foundation and the American Journal of Medical Quality.

Michael L. Millenson, President, Health Quality Advisors has 12 post(s) at EngagingPatients.org

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